It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Where were you when I was single???
Still in diapers.
Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
the raccoons are back...
Randomize
