Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
chatroulette drinking game turned into a foursome.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
You ordered 6 boxes of pizza and laughed in the pizza guys face when you didn't pay for any of them.
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I want to go out and have good clean fun.
Ok, but that does not include Bud Light Platinum and your vagina.
You're the best friend ever. I wouldn't want to do the walk of shame with anyone else.
Dude i'm still drunk and i'm feeding a raccoon cereal from my bedroom window
He sent me a website link to GIF on Snapchat. I don’t think he understands how Social Media works.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
It started off with wine and ended up with me in only my pearls and heels. It was about the classiest sexual experience I've ever had.
we bonded over knowing every word to freaky gurl by gucci mane so it’s kinda starting to make sense why I gave him head in his cul de sac
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