Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
I wont be hard to find. Im wearing a darth vader mask and I have a megaphone.
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I hope you have a dream of a sloth with my face touching you erotically
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
we had to take 10 shots sometime before midnight, then 11 shots between midnight and 1. so yes its gonna be a rough day.
Randomize
