It has come to my attention that I should apologize for myself and my friends
He just told me he would murder a thousand dolphins to be with me. Quite the charmer.
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
oh great, iTunes now thinks im gay.
wanna get hammered and throw tomatoes at the people standing in line for the midnight showing of harry potter and yell whichcraft is evil
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Im playing the how drunk can i get before my card declines game. being single sucks. But getting drunk after work alone in fridays on a wenesday night sucks way more.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Let the record show that I hate your ass.
Randomize
