In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Why dose there have to be another girl there for you to do this?
its hotter. Way hotter.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
She just walked out of her bedroom naked and asked me to help put her diaper on. Yeah, that pretty much sums up the last 24 hours...
Yeah just pls explain the dishes and the dildo. I don't want to lose my job over a dick in the cooler.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
