Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
My lips are sealed. Both pairs.
Aaaaand my mom is wearing jeggings...
Im crossing my legs while on the toilet. It's like I'm unconsciously thinking "if im going to barf and shit at the same time, Im at least going to do it LIKE A LADY"
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I was dressed as Waldo and the cops kept saying looks like we fuckin found you
Sex was followed by homemade breadsticks. I waited till after the breadsticks were gone to tell her i had a gf.
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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