what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Just bought two budlight beers with a can of tuna at the bar
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
she used her teeth again, but this time it was out of love
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
I'm high. I apologize for that last sentence
my ex logged me out of his netflix so im gonna fuck his bestfriend as revenge
Dude if I had a dollar for everytime she asked me to do weird shit with her when we were fucking I'd have like 4$
Randomize
