it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
I got to stop making out with my boss at work. I think we should just get it overwith, be dissaponted and move on.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
i took a picture of my dick. with a stick figure drawn on it. and a paper hat taped to the tip. and i call i the mayor of Dickville
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Don't talk to me about lonely until you're eating marshmallows for dinner in your underwear watching House of Cards for 12 hours straight. I hate all you couples
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
sorry for the random call. He stopped mid-sex because he wanted confirmation that I was really a reverend.
I'll just give him your contact info, and you'll somehow manage to get laid. Which will make me feel like your vagina's agent or something.
Enjoy the penises
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize