Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
her last google searches are 'cheap african safari' and 'what does lion taste like'
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
Dude, just paid my sister in vicodin to go out and buy me a slushie.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Looking forward to meeting the person naked and passed out at my kitchen table.
they have a video of him in his boxers making a snow angel in the hallway is his own vomit and coca cola.
banged a milf last night. she left right after cause of parent teacher conferences this morning. victory.
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
You’re better off without him. Actually, he’s better off without you and that’s what really matters
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