Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
Can u please come get me. My car keys are gone. Somehow I ended up sleeping in my trunk
In mid-threesome, need more condoms. Wearing a sheet to the gas station. I'll keep you posted
it is a toga and you are a goddess.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
I woke up in a sink... Not like curled up on top of it though. I was standing, bent over, face first. IN THE DAMN SINK.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
sounds like it. if it makes you feel better i blew up a $75000 farm tractor last night.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
Like please, take your microdick and try to stick it someplace else. It is not welcome in my world.
Thanks for bringing me tea/a bucket. You have earned yourself a face touch.
I was so high I just stared at the papa john's app on my phone and cried
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
Randomize
