new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I made Mark strip for me and do a stripper dance. I put 2 dollars in his mouth
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
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