My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
Prostitute standing on the corner thrusting at cars as they drive by. New marketing strategy?
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
2am update: i think I'm in Mexico but I found a dennys. Everyone but this cute family of 4 is speaking Spanish. Cute family of 4 is helping me out.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
If we can put a man on the moon, I'm sure we can turn a pringles can into a bong.
his first fb message to me in 3 years was "is your cock open for business?" im blocking him
Two things. 1) party at my house this Friday 2) what was the name of the Australian you fucked on the cruise ship?
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
Randomize
