she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
I don't even have to sign up for karaoke at duncans anymore. The karaoke ppl just sign me up themselves. Without my consent. I also sang stacys mom to some lady named Stacy who's mom died yesterday.
and you will have a crown and it will be made of penises and all will bow before you and your glorious penis crown
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Chang gave me a 1.5 gallon beer tasting cup, i have a new boyfriend with a huge stick, Members of the Irish Rugby team slapped my ass and cheered for firmness, and a couple of strangers are naming the child after me. Best. Weekend.Ever.
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
How’s your Christmas Eve so far?
I just chased my melatonin with red wine. It’s 12:00pm.
Bring shot glasses to the final. Don't ask questions.
Did you make it home alright?
No I'm sitting under a tree by a cricket. He's alone crying out for someone to Fuck him. This guy gets me.
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
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