addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
I'm at a work party and I don't know how to drink socially. You know, like slow?
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
I googled "I hate my uterus" just to make sure I wasn't the only one.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
He fell asleep and they duct taped him to the floor. He's pissed.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
The guy I made out with the other night fed me chipotle favored funions and I thought it was true love when I was drunk.
Today has been hell. Also I saw a dead man's penis. It's safe to say I will be getting very drunk tonight.
Randomize
