This chick, for whatever reason, has serious "Leave your wife and kids and also break up her young marriage in order to frolick for a good 2 weeks before I realize that she's just like the rest of them and I made a huge mistake and ruined a lot of lives in the process" potential. It's SO INTRIGUING.
I totally just used John Mayer's lyrics to get laid.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
we started the countdown to drunken sledding this weekend.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
It was one of those you-have-no-other-way-home-and-we-already-made-out-so-I-guess-youre-coming-home-with-me-if-you-promise-to-leave-early kind of deals.
I projectile vomited in his sisters room where the toiled would have been if it were the bathroom.
Public service announcement: if you would like to continue receiving blow jobs, a 25% increase in fuck-giving will be expected immediately, and you're expected to give an actual flying fuck at least once a week. Brought to you by the ad council.
He fell backwards into a full bathtub but didn't spill a single drop of the beer in his hand. What a pro.
How's dinner? Come here? You can bring your boyfriend if you're ok leaving without him
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
YOU UNCULTURED BADGER
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