after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
now that im off birth control, the world is a much scarier place
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
I hate that you live in a gated community. I feel your guard judges me every time I go to your house at 3 am an leave at 5am
i want us to warm up up with us making out while i lay you down touching and feeling all the spots you know are going to get you warmed up. im gonna move down your body kissing every inch as i move down past your panty line ;)
Did you watch the carolina game tonight?
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
Just heard him in the middle stall. Sounded like someone emptied a toolbox into the toilet.
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