I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
Well we're gonna drink when we get home and I just invited the cab driver to play beer pong
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
You dropped a beer and it was like when wilson floated away. Complete with sobbing apologies
Shit, no womder she didn't wanna fuck me
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
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