So on facebook, the pictures from my church mission trip are right up next to the pictures of my first time on E. Sorry Jesus.
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
Apparently "he pulled out..mostly" is not a valid reason for thinking there's no way i can be pregnant to the nurses at the student health center.
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
As a gentleman, I asked her if she was sure and she just whispered "wreck me" in my ear. I took that as a green light.
The last thing I searched on my phone was "leave in conditioner on cats." This is where my life is.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
