But regardless, you really stood out last night, you should give me a chance
Sorry but you seem like a potential womanizer
remember when u banged some random dude twice in the back restaurant room of the bar i work at with customers still there? and woke up with an enormous highschool-sized hickey this morning? no big deal.
hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I was sitting behind this girl in class and she logged out of her facebook, hacked into her boyfriends, and then proceeded to check his inbox. This is why I'm single.
did you mean anything you said last night? i just wnna know
no
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Taking my tights off outside the club to give them to the homeless man was my contribution to humanity. The fact that it was snowing just made me feel like superman.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I really don't want to get drunk alone tonight. Like, I'll do it, but I won't enjoy it.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I guess it's too forward to greet him with a blow job?
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
