she said it was ok for her to take her top off in the hot tub but she didn't take off her bottoms because that would be slutty
Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Found a bar with a washer and dryer and they serve food. I never have to leave
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Yo, I can't just ask my mom where she relocated my vibrator to, can I?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Randomize
