Getting drunk in a different country is not a good idea. Lets just say spanish women, 17 yr olds from missouri, prostitutes, and a poodle. I don´t want to leave spain.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
Just found out my mom's voicemail password is 6969..
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
There was a fucking SNAKE in the urinal. WHAT THE FUCK
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
I puked walking onto the plane. How do you think my post-Birthday hangover went?
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I didn't realize how much I relied on you for a reason to drink on tuesday
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
Texting people and counting condoms..we have like fourteen. Goal for this week: use all of them
Randomize
