Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
I successfully cooked a taquito with a lighter! My stomach hurts now tho.. im either guna blame it on the undercooked taquito or im feeling guily about porkin my brothers gf a lil bit ago
Nope it's a specific set of cards not like a normal ace, queen king thing....kinda like UNO, but instead of yelling UNO you get shitfaced
I just don't get it. Video games don't suck his dick.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
You said you wanted to wrap his dick in a tortilla and make a spicy burrito. Let me just say, most girls don't have this hard of a time getting laid.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
There is a chick wearing some guy's shirt wrapped around her waist as a skirt... She's flashing her panties to everyone as she sings karaoke. You need to get here.
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
I must be pretty memorable. I was walking past this dude and he goes "There's the Scotch Girl." I have ZERO clue who he is, but I'm definitely the Scotch Girl.
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