you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
Dude. My sister is off limits. Touch her again and I'll rip off your dick and force feed it to you.
I accept this challenge.
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
Does the blue bra belong to your sister or cousin?
am i so blindsided by his great personality that i'm hooking up with an ugly guy?
i thought you knew
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
i asked the cop if we could stop and do a chinese firedrill.... he said no.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
Let's be honest. I make up for my well below average sized penis with a great personality and a possibly successful future
Im like a hedgehog. Easy to corner or get within reach, but tough to get right close to. Like a rooster with its feathers surgically replaced with razors
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
Randomize
