If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
I FUCKING SERVED PEOPLE AND POURDED JUGS AND GOT FREE BEEEEEEEERERTERRY
At least I look tastefully trashed. My nipples are hidden and I'm standing up.
A man that refers to my vagina in third person is a man after my own heart.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
He was super stoned and then he compared doing meth to having anal sex and told me to "ride that cowboy." The cowboy being my ex.
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
