I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
Just met someone from Jersey. No fist pumps or jagerbombs. Kind of disappointed...
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Hey! I was tired. I threw up in two parking lots yesterday.
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
Life is my bitch right now. The bouncers tried to carry me out of the club, but everyone thought I was crowd surfing so everyone carried me BACK IN. Winning as fuck.
Next time a random bus filled with santas pulls up to the bar, I'm not getting on it.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
apparently ive been in a long term relationship for the past 1 1/2 years w/ out knowing
Randomize
