Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
life is all about the fine print - all i wanted was a fucking pony.
He got drunk and insisted on licking my eyeball and called it a test of my trust in him.
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
Sure. But we have to be quiet.
Ninja mode activated
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
I'm sorry I lead life with my vagina.
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
