Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
i have a dinosaur tramp stamp
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
the only thing coherent you said from what i saw of you is when you were throwing up, i asked if you were done and you just "uh huh you know what it is"
I also love beards. The playoffs are like christmas for my vagina.
She insisted we fuck to Ludacris, not how I imagined popping her lesbian cherry would be. I tried delt and I liked it.
I shame-fucked to Hotel California, don't tell me about priorities.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Randomize
