..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
Every time he makes fun of me for anything I just remind myself he ate ice cream out of a strippers vagina
I've blown a few things in my day
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
I am growing concerned with the number of people here in cowboy hats
Chasing 100 proof soco w water from the tap at 4 pm, it's gonna one of those kinda Thursdays...
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
Should I be worried if two ants just crawled out of my purse?
Yes!
Randomize
