I totally thought the tree was playing the guitar
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
Potholders are an underrated garment. Especially naked.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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