As of this morning, vodka still has the other side of my BFF necklace. She treats me right.
No - a douche bag is not a fashion accessory. They do not make Gucci Douchebags
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
when I called the strip club they said there was a note with my credit card. "girl who punched guy in throat" fuck daytona
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
Randomize
