I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Ok if you are accepting my apology, please continue to ignore me. If you are not, please fill out the brief survey that follows, to help me improve my people relations: a) your a bitch please leave me alone b)your crazy pls leave me alone c) I never cared ab u please leave me alone. D) all of the above e) all of the above but I wouldn't mind still fucking u. F) who are you again? Your answer will not b shared and will b used in accord. With the law. TY
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
We picked up some guys dressed as shamrocks at taco bell. I will text you with further information.
we are blowing up condoms and making balloons and we’re drunk on the floor. You could have come to school here
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I ate her out in the bathroom and she did my makeup. Man i love being a lesbian
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
No it's like. I don't respect you. And I think you're a terrible person but. I still wanna bone it out.
I woke up with my phone plugged into an extension cord in my garage. No clue how I got home. Videos of me flogging my roommate with my set of keys telling him he's the worst roommate ever. And my mom woke me up at 8am asking how to make a DVD...Goddamnit first Friday.
I have more important things to worry about than you drowning your cheerios in tequila.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize
