You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
Well, what part of "I've heard she has crabs" didn't you take into consideration?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
He just became a fan of Chelsea Handler on Facebook. WHY DO I ALWAYS PICK THE GAY ONE
One of us needs to be functional tomorrow and it won't be me. I'm drinking liquor out of a fishbowl.
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
I think my sunburn makes my ass look bigger
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
He just said "I can't wait to penetrate you tomorrow" I sat in silence for a second...he attempted to save it by saying "I can't wait to enter you".
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I wanted to make my beer stronger so I poured vodka in it. Why god....why
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
Randomize
