I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
You know how i spent all of black friday on the plane? Well guess who's getting a x-mas gift from skymall?!!??
the orgasm was like being thrown to the other end of reality, so getting a nosebleed from it wasnt too upsetting at that point
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
I just want to steal his innocence through his penis. I really do.
SORRY! Pervert came out for a bit. BAD PERVERT! BACK IN YOUR HOME!
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
When you wake up with a bow tie and mustache drawn on your penis, you know you had a good night.
Randomize