From behind she looks like Richard Simmons
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I would have rather watched a full length video of myself masturbating than heard that.
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
You won’t make it to November. A 21st bday and Halloween in the same night has shitshow/ jail written all over it. So I call dibs on that tall guy
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
I'd do them all but honestly I'm so high that I probably should have a chaperone.
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
Randomize
