Whenever I don't wipe thoroughly after shitting, I just think that anyone if anyone sticks their finger up my ass, they had it coming.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
Bro I am trying to have one night stands nothing more, unless she is baking waffles I can eat out of her butthole I am not interested
I sent him a pic of my tits and he said "Word." I need a drink.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
I just washed out an empty chocolate milk bottle to take whiskey on my bike ride.
You are not an adult
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
You're going to be mad because I got baked, but not that mad because I'm bringing home kfc.
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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