operation have a gay friend backfired
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
i like to finish this college football season knowing that not once have I had to masturbate to erin andrews
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
His ankle bracelet went off in the middle of sex. That makes a girl reevaluate her life...
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
So many people have told me I have great tits tonight, I'm unstoppable
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
