There's a hobo dancing by himself. Is anyone going to ask how he got in the house?
I'm not going to fuck him in his Honda Fit. That's gay.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
So if you want this MFM threesome thing to happen the other guy is here and willing
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
He's a freak. Not like "freak in the bed" freak but like "eats glue in the weekends" freak.
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