Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
I remember just enough about last night to wish I didn't remember anything.
I'm glad you have such faith in my ability to find the worst situations with my vagina.
I just can't even fathom the crazy and I work at a mental hospital.
I really don't know where my pants are, but that's not the problem. When are you going to unlock the door?
At least I know that however bad my life gets and how low I can feel I'll never feel shitting in a red robin parking lot low
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
It's alright. I'm just trying to make her realize you're not good enough for her.
I do have a history of lying to Customs. I once convinced them I was an astronaut.
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
At least your wife cheated on you. Women will feel bad for you. In a month there will boy bands that are jealous of your dick
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