The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
So it turns out that my mom and her dad used to hook up when they were our age
Never been so glad that I look so much like my dad that there's no question as to my paternity
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
You know you're doing well in life when weed is considered to improve your job performance
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Ladies don't puke and tell
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
that's what I'm here for. I'm literally just bad advice mixed with motivational sentences.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I got some blow and a hand job from one of the strippers. So I guess I'm getting over the divorce.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
