i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
please come you make the beer taste better
i opened her purse and found 4 bottles of vodka tampons and an unopened box of birth control...
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Let's go free Charlie Sheen and party with him
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
I'm getting better, this year I only showed up drunk to 1 final.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
A bitchslap is in order.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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