Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
some girl just asked me if I was that guy that hooked up with nine girls in one night. officially a local celebrity. gonna try and autograph her boobs.
I don't care if we have to swim home from the bar, Im not gonna sit home in the dark and read some fucking book
And apparently i asked another younger guy at the bar if he wanted his bud light pumped straight into his vag. As i put back an irish car bomb...
Please tell me that is you having sex in my car in my driveway and not a complete stranger.
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
The lady at the front desk wished you a happy hangover.
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
He said my vagina smelled like pomegranates. Its like my vagina is the fountain of youth.
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