I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
Yeah but if I do that, I'd have to buy my own stomach pump for the house. That doesn't seem like a great thing to have sitting on the coffee table.
No amount of marijuana is enough to justify blood on my ceiling
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
would it be mean if I put better with the lights off on my sex playlist just for my hook up with him?
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
He's sweet and rough. A wonderful contradiction. He's the starburst of sex.
I'm so lazy and tired i just want to cry and fall asleep in a bed of egg mcmuffins.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
How do I say "I want to suck your balls" in a classy but sexy way,
I just met a stripper in the light of day who I ate a candy bikini off her body. This is how my weekend is going.
You drunkenly told one of the campus security guards that you liked his headset. In return he introduced himself, lit your cig, and told us that if anyone was giving us shit to call and ask for him... Best campus security ever.
ugh, my whole family is going ape shit over my sister's pregnancy blog. I dont get it? Anyone can get knocked up! I had rebound sex with a new york ranger last night, now that is something to fucking blog about.
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