Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
...I think I just watched a boy make a sandwich seductively. What.
Started the 4th with a foursome. I don't know if it gets more festive than that. #MERICA
I love you. Go after that dick
Considering we almost incited a riot on behalf of LGBT rights I have to say that was the best time for our moral compass to turn south.
So I slept with some guy last night and when I woke up in the am couldnt remember his name. I text him n asked "How do you spell your name?" to try n find out and all he replied was "With an A." WTF!?
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
Randomize
