I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
that's an acceptable place to lick
I could be a Disney star with the amount of nude photos of mine that get leaked.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
just tried to pee in the sink at wendys...need to stop letting my drunk habits get into my sober life
He wasn't eating out, he was performing a hysterectomy without a license....should I be worried about my future family?
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
Why are you awake at 6am and liking photos from rando Russian chicks on Instagram?
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
when I found u, u were using a t-shirt for pants
Randomize