Brogan sounds similar to Bridget...sorta.
Every girl's name is automatically translated to "Baby/Milk Carrier" in my brai
shes in my pool wearing only floaties on her arms ill have to raincheck watching march madness with you guys sorry
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
guess who's eating a vending machine cheese danish, has no panties on, and is still the classiest bitch at this bus stop?
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I just can't have sex with a guy who has nicer eyebrows than me
Bombed my 8 a.m. exam and the liquor store doesn't open till noon. Drinking unfinished beers from last night till they open.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You can't honestly expect me to maintain an erection when you have the Glen Beck show on
I can't believe I'm coordinating a threesome at work. My productivity is at an all time low.
I have decided that I would still fuck Harrison Ford even though he is old as fuck now. Do you think it would kill him?
Most likely. But I bet he'd do a bang up job of it before he died.
He absolutely would.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
