you kept yelling 'bird cage' in between songs and finally the lead singer stopped to ask if you meant 'free bird' and you said 'fuck you, i'm not gay', needless to say you were kindly escorted out
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
There is a banner on a house by campus that says "welcome to college dads. Thanks for dropping off your daughters!"
my math professor just wrote "parallel" on the board, but spelled it "pararrel". guess what country he's from
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
He still hasn't made a move, so I slept with his brother last weekend. Maybe sibling rivalry will motivate........
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
Randomize
