On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
my mom just asked if she should wash your furry handcuffs with the lights or darks
I mean, once you help another girl drunker than you zip her jeans you can't help but be friends after that
The great thing about vietnam is that if I'm drunk during the day people just think I'm being white
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Betting for two different teams with two different guys is the best. Time to get $100 by one guy and laid by the other!
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Randomize
