I woke up this morning and I couldn't find my coffeetable. wtf?
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Every concussion has its silver lining
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Based on the time of Sean's "I'm on your street" phone call last night, we had sex for an hour and a half. Man, time flies when you're getting boned to an orgasmic death.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Stop trying to get me to choose vodka over a nap
Taking a walk while tripping face during Halloween time was a bad idea. I started crying bc I was so scared and hide in the parks playground.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
Randomize
