But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
dude, you cant keep using "she roofied me" as an excuse to bang all these fat chicks
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Sorry about bonging beers with your mom but in all fairness you were late...
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I really need to create fewer "the time I was on drugs" stories for my future memoir, "my first year in San Francisco".
good luck with that
So. Do you think marshmallow vodka in hot chocolate while eating a graham cracker would = s'mores?
In some strange universe, yes
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Randomize
