i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
My roommate still talks on AIM. What is this middle school?
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
I went over to help her build a porch, but we decided that was too much work, so we just got high and watched Scooby Doo
Quote from doctor, "that is a VERY angry vagina".
I'm fucked.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
I still have a little drunk in my system
it's pizza time hurry your sexcapades
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
Randomize
