You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Guys, I'm sleeping in the BOYNTON LAUNDRY ROOM. if you can, come let me out in the morning as I have no keys. I might be in the study room possibly. DON'T FORGET. I will be trapped
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
If you bring chipotle to my house i'll let you eat your burrito out of my vagina
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
His exact words were "Can I meet your vagina?" I kept wondering if he was going to try to shake hands with it...
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
Yeahh. im on the phone with him drunk. he told me he found a pigeon in a cardboard box and named it quincy...
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
