I wish I could punch you in the face.
I'm sorry for everything. i woke up with two citations stapled to my shirt.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
you started introducing us as kentucky and gentlemen
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You said you brought chipotle into a movie and I asked you to marry me and you said yes
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
You've changed since you got that strap on
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
