My Higher Power is John Stamos
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
just saw a girl with a lower back tattoo of the boondock saints prayer.. i will marry her
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
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