i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
I think I'm going to wait until after Halloween to call off the wedding. No need to ruin my favorite holiday.
i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
You're either getting fucked or a coupon to Friendly's. I haven't decided yet.
Woke up on a lawn chair hugging a bottle of vodka. Hows your morning so far?
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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