Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
For his 21st I'm getting a fancy hotel that way he can at least sleep in a nice bathtub
Dont act like I'm the only one that gets on a plane and picks out the one im gonna have fuck if we have time before the crash
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Yup we found her. The bouncer was carrying her out
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
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