all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Well I woke up at my house so that's a plus. But I'm pretty sure I peed on my sofa because I woke up in the pee position.
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
Hmmm... I thought we agreed as a group we make our last stand in Philly...
I don't wanna go out like that. Covered in melted cheese smelling like a sewer rat...
You fell out of his top bunk onto his set of golf clubs. After seeing blood on your leg, you proceeded to sing "the first cut is the deepest" while sprawled on the golf clubs
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