Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
You should just wear a sign that says "I like cheap Chinese food and anal"
I like taco bell too
I think my vagina was keeping me fat all these years out of self preservation. It's like she knew what would happen if I lost the weight.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
im sorry for trying to flush a roll of toilet paper down with my puke. probably not great for your toilet
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
You told them that the brownies were safe, and then pointed to a passed out Ryan and said "see?"
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
Side note... I would pay good money to have witnessed the reaction of onlookers as I sprinted down Armtiage with a 15 lb bag of peanuts under my arm
some people popped out of a houseboat and asked us to their party. their houseboat IS A WEEDBOAT. it is full of weed they grow weed. EVERYWHERE.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
MORE IMPORTANTLY I THINK I JUST WATCHED SOMEONE GET SO LONELY AS TO TURN BISEXUAL??
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I like to be the stable force in your otherwise chaotic existence.
He has a bear rug in his room. I'm going to ask if we can have sex on it. Wilderness sex.
Randomize
