that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
In between when I last wrote and now have screwed a Swiss guy on a hostel bathroom floor. Okay, real life?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
You wouldn't believe how many pro-life stickers, and "show us your tits" signs there are between here and Dallas.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
How the fuck do you get a noise complaint filed against you at 9:30am on a fucking Tuesday?
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
can i get licensed in dentistry online like a priest
He found out about your side hoe and still helped you try to find a lizard that got in the house
How was your night?
Fell down a flight of stairs. Went to a sex dungeon. Was approached by a man in a leather harness.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
Pretty sure this radio station is run by a cult. Good thing it's in Spanish, can't brainwash someone who can't understand you.
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