there is nothing more satisfying than playing sudoku while pooping
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
It was an 11am booty call. We were both out of our element.
I went around and congratulated every guy that had a beard for having one
Goddamn tequila
the good news is that i vommed the last of my humanity last night.
welcome to the club.
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
Some clips from last night: grinded like I haven't since college. Took shots with a bartender with a bad ass mustache. Made up a string of lies with fake names and occupations. Slept behind the couch with pizza in my hand
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
Made my roommate send me tit pics so I could send them to someone because I didn't want to move.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
He passed out while I was riding him but stayed hard long enough for me to orgasm. He definitely earned the blow job I’m going to wake him up with in the morning!
Randomize
