Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
We could just stay sober.
No! We tried that once.
It sucked.
He was calculating the number of ceiling tiles when I was on top it was fucking rain man.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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